Dear Texas
I really really do love you 4 months out of 12
I love our Barbecue, our friendly people and all the good stuff.
Thanks for Dallas, Ft. Worth, San Antonio and the gorgeous Hill Country.
I don’t know what you were thinking when you gave us Houston, but I don’t hold it against you, much.
I wish you’d left it in Mexico, but I guess our map would not look as pretty.
What I don’t appreciate is the HEAT! why does it have to get 1 degree lower than hell’s temperature here?
Why do we have to scorch our asses even on cloth car seats?
SPF 70 can’t even begin to protect us from the Texas sun.
Must our pupils burn the minute we walk outside?
My birdbath turns into a bird sauna in April.
At 8am this morning it was 82 degrees for frijoles’ sake!
We’re hitting 100+ temps this week, and that’s just wrong.
I will love you again in late October Texas.
From now until Halloween I will curse you with every fiber of my sweaty body.
I will flip you the bird every day, as I peel my sweaty hair off of my neck.
I will wish a tornado flies up your butt for what you do to my hair and make-up.
Maybe we’ll reconcile in November, but until then kiss my crispy fried ass.

Sassy